The word betrayal itself fills our heart with deep sadness and anger. The topic of concern today is can you trust your partner after they’ve cheated on you? What should you do if you decide to give your relationship another chance and settle down to forgive your partner and forget the betrayal? Is it even possible to forgive and forget such things? Let us get to know how can you make this process a bit easier for yourself.
Don’t settle for a cheap apology:
- Ask yourself first, “do I really want to forgive and go ahead to mend the relationship with my partner or I want to move on?” Be honest with yourself, Because trust after being cheated, is near to impossible thing.
- There is no need to act in haste. Give it a serious thought and be clear headed.
- If your answer is, “Yes, I want to save my relationship.” then just don’t accept an apology instantly. Because then you are settling for a cheap apology. You just forgave your partner because you are afraid of being left alone and thus being dishonest with yourself.
- You will make ground clear for further betrayals as your submissive attitude will signify that you are pretty much ok with your partner having an affair and your partner can get away easily with just an apology.
Express your anger and give yourself time to heal:
- You have got every single right to get angry with your partner. You SHOULD express your pain and anguish, after getting betrayed. If your partner wants to earn your trust after being cheated by your partner then he will not argue back.
- Don’t wait for an apology or explanation ASK for it!
- Decide to go to a marriage counselor to take help. It can really help you to recover from this painful situation with some ease at least.
- To have a mediator always helps as he or she can balance the situation for both of you.
- Give yourself ample time to heal yourself. There is no need to wear the facade of, “yes everything is OK!” Fight out your battle, instead!
It will never be the same again:
- No relationship can remain same after facing the debacle of betrayal.
- You will have to develop a different perspective towards your relationship now.
- Instead of trying to do it superficially your aim should be to lessen the bitterness on day to day basis.
- Remember every situation or problem teaches us something and we should be open enough to learn our lessons.
Get the details and listen to your partner:
- Ask your partner to give you all the details about the affair.
- Listen to your partner. It is not just that the cheated person goes through the pain but in most of the cases the accused also gets compressed under the burden of guilt for the entire life.
- You should be aware of the circumstances which made him or her so vulnerable that he or she opted to cheat on you.
- This will make a clear picture in your mind that whether your partner is habitual of cheating on you or it was just an unfortunate act which happened under some weakening circumstances.
Communicate every day:
- Follow the golden rule of communication.
- Communicate every day. Communicate your every feeling to your partner.
- Be open for honest discussions.
- This will break the ice between you two and will lessen the bitterness slowly and slowly.
Protect your self-esteem:
- Just don’t blame yourself, thinking that maybe I was not efficient enough to keep my partner happy.
- Don’t allow yourself to think that since you got cheated once you will always get cheated.There is no need to make yourself feel miserable and weak.
- This is the time when you should be loyal to yourself first, than anybody else. Love yourself and pamper yourself the most.
- Take out time from the rest of the world and try to introspect and reflect and get to know yourself.
- Take pride in yourself and try to make yourself a better person every day.
- You will have to learn to love yourself first because only then you will be able to love anybody else.
Focus on being positive and skip every negative thought:
- Develop a positive approach towards your life and your relationship.
- This will help you to battle out with the strangling and devastating vicious cycle of negative thoughts.
- Just keep away from all the negativity. Compliment yourself every time you look into the mirror.
- Appreciate everything and anything good you do. Focus on your every good quality and work out to make yourself more desirable
- But still thoughts are thoughts and it becomes hard for us to control them. Whenever this type of situation arises, take a break from this noisy world and either go to a place where you can enjoy and feel happy.
- With time, focus and determination your relationship will definitely survive this betrayal.
A betrayal is a betrayal. Whether it happens in a marriage or in a live-in relationship or any other kind of relationship. It is better to give it a serious thought and then make a choice. It’s up to you to forgive what he or she did to you Give yourself time to heal. Work on your relationship on daily basis. Communicate and focus on your relationship. Good luck!